I adore Eurovision. Almost every year it becomes an obsession for me by about early March as the songs start getting released, and by the two semi-finals and grand final roll around I’m desperate for it. I love the variety – how every country has a decent shot of victory if they bring a good song, and how some countries (particularly those in Eastern Europe) often showcase their own distinct cultural identities through their performances. I love the excitement of competition and will passionately get behind both what I feel is the best song and my underdog home nation of the UK, no matter how hopeless our entry is. The final voting sequence is always thrilling, and the winner’s encore – invariably with golden confetti, unscripted joy and excessive flag waving – sends shivers down my spine. Most of all, I love the songs of Eurovision, despite coming from a country notorious for turning their noses up at what is deemed as a politicised kitsch fest of trashy pop pap. Sure, there’s certainly a place for silliness and fun at the contest, but every year I’ve been following it, the Eurovision has also been home to at least a handful of respectable, genuinely impressive songs of various genres. The variety of the winners in recent years has been one of the contest’s great strengths (compare 2017’s Amar Pelos Dois to Toy, which won the following year), but what doesn’t change is the fact that every winner has been an objectively good song, even if some winners are stronger than others. I’ve also long seen the argument that Europe spitefully votes against the UK (perhaps a Brexit spite) as a weak one. Countries with much worse PR get plenty of success (Israel recently won, Russia are frequently in the top five), and the fact is our songs are almost always objectively worse than those in the running for the title. We scorn Cyprus and Greece for gifting each other maximum points year on year whilst we feel betrayed when similarly underperforming buddies Ireland don’t feel like lending our weak songs any points. It will take a very good song and a very good result for British attitudes to finally shift.
2021 will be viewed as vintage year by the Eurovision historians of the future. It was easily my favourite contest of all time, and I liked almost every song, from Switzerland’s widescreen orchestral ballad to Russia’s experimental hip hop anthem and Croatia’s funk-pop belter. Italy’s hard rock winner ZITTI E BUONI was comparable to ABBA’s Waterloo in how it seemed to mark a turning point in the history of the contest. The song became a staggering worldwide hit, launching Måneskin’s career as one of the biggest rock bands on the planet and introducing a whole new generation to the contest. It’s no wonder Rotterdam 2021 saw a marked increase in viewers aged 15 to 24.
Still, 40 songs is a lot of songs and, particularly for the continent’s smallest countries, high quality entries often come once in a blue moon. Having listened to the two hours’ worth of material produced by this year’s cohort, I can report that 2022 is not a year that will live quite as long in the memory as it’s predecessor. Lightning doesn’t strike twice, and there’s plenty of poorly produced tracks and amateurish performances in the bottom half of this list (and some in the top half). Nonetheless, the top 10 is worth checking for songs you may resonate with, and there’s still a few real gems amongst the 40 – not least an unusually strong entry from the UK. I’ve got my fingers crossed that this is the year we realise that this is a competition worth making the effort for.
This year I’ve added a ‘bookies rank’ to the reviews (rated by how likely a song is to win according to bookmakers), as well as a fans rank, which is based from the app My Eurovision Scoreboard, which seems to be the largest survey of Eurovision fans on the internet right now. Those songs are ordered simply by the average preference of many thousands of fans across the continent.
40. Stripper
by Achille Lauro for San Marino
Bookies rank: 20
Fans rank: 30
There’s one word that Stripper brings to mind throughout its duration: Måneskin. The entire song – from the classic rock guitars to Achille Lauro’s intense eye makeup and choker – seems to be an embarrassing attempt to replicate the staggering success of the hard rocking Italians that stormed the contest just under a year ago. What’s more, Stripper is leagues worse than ZITTI E BUONI in every department. Lauro’s ropey vocals replace Damiano David’s seductive growl, and a horribly laboured chorus is no match for Victoria de Angelis’ heavy bass guitar riffing. Stripper is an atrocious, obnoxious and lazy ripoff that deserves to be forgotten in the lower rankings of the semi-finals.
39. Give That Wolf a Banana
by Subwoolfer for Norway
Bookies rank: 7
Fans rank: 12
Undoubtedly destined to be one of the talking points of the grand final (particularly for bemused American onlookers), Give That Wolf a Banana is this year’s infuriating ‘comic’ entry. The problem is that the sight of two grown men dancing badly and costumed as yellow wolves in suits is nothing but insufferably unfunny for anyone over the age of six. The song, come to think of it, sounds like something a curious six-year-old could cobble together using GarageBand’s default samples on their parents’ iPad, complete with a trashy synth bass and a mind-numbing one note melody in the chorus. The lyrics are utterly vapid and the hook – an autotuned wolf howl – only becomes more of a racket as the song goes on. I know it’s a joke, but surely it’s possible to write a lighthearted Eurovision song with a bit more musical substance (Think About Things comes to mind); this infantile attempt at humour is woeful. At least distraught Norwegian Eurovision fans have strong songs from half-Norwegian entrants in Greece and the Czech Republic to whole-heartedly support this year.
38. Rockstars
by Malik Harris for Germany
Bookies rank: 24
Fans rank: 27
It’s not quite as bad as last year, but Malik Harris’s soulless four-chord pop ballad is painfully derivative and his vocals are simply annoying. Even if Ed Sheeran released a song like this (which he certainly has done many, many times before) I doubt it would make much progress in the charts. It’s telling that the song’s most bearable moment is when Harris tries his hand at a shouty Eminem rap verse. Even then, it’s borderline excruciating.
37. Intention
by Intelligent Music Project for Bulgaria
Bookies rank: 31
Fans rank: 40
After last year’s beautiful Growing Up Is Getting Old, Intention sees a marked dip in quality for Bulgaria, and the Eurovision fans seem unanimous in their disappointment. This borderline cringeworthy classic rock song never quite works, even if a brief screeching guitar solo is quite fun. The lyrics are weak and the chorus weaker, making the chance of this middle-of-the-road offering reaching the final virtually zero.
36. Jezebel
by The Rasmus for Finland
Bookies rank: 16
Fans rank: 19
Irritatingly over-pronounced vocals limit this promising power pop song from perhaps one of the most famous acts to enter Eurovision in recent years. The chorus is so nearly anthemic, but clunky instrumentation and harmony will likely limit it to nothing more than the novelty rock song on the night. In the wake of ZITTI E BUONI, it was always unlikely for us to get a phenomenal rock song for the second year on the bounce. For a band as popular and well-established as The Rasmus, I hoped for better.
35. Eat Your Salad
by Citi Zēni for Latvia
Bookies rank: 28
Fans rank: 31
If the bright horn lines and shimmering funk keyboards prick up your ears at the start of Eat Your Salad, Citi Zēni does an incredible job at dashing any hopes of a half-decent song just moments later when he opens his mouth. “Instead of meat I eat veggies and pussy,” he proclaims in an opening lyric so outrageous for a Eurovision song it’s almost admirable. It also nicely sums up how unbearable the lyrics that follow are: it’s an embarrasingly unfunny, one-dimensional song about, you guessed it, healthy eating, interspersed with completely unnecessary and incongruous vulgarity (“forget the hot dogs / ‘Cause my sausage is bigger” is one of many head-in-hands moments). It’s a shame, because the instrumental has a frissen of authentic disco flair, even if the horns are plasticky and the drums characterless. The song also features perhaps one of the most irritating chorus hooks of the year. Unfortunately, Eat Your Salad is easily bubbly and fun enough to be a fan favourite, but I’ll be avoiding it all I can.
34. I Am What I Am
by Emma Muscat for Malta
Bookies rank: 22
Fans rank: 34
After such a strong 2021, it’s sad to hear that loveable Eurovision underdogs Malta have opted for bland pop filler for this year’s contest. I Am What I Am is almost completely characterless, and Emma Muscat’s lyrics are insipid to the extreme. It’s so inoffensive I’m offended.
33. Lock Me In
by Circus Mircus for Georgia
Bookies rank: 29
Fans rank: 39
Lock Me In has a handful of good ideas; the proggy, at times almost jazzy grooves are neatly performed and touches of tambourine and castanet are good fun. However, it’s less easy to find strong aspects of the vocals, which are awkward and amateurish. It’s a bizarre track but not in a way that’s at all intriguing or endearing. Instead, Lock Me In comes across as messy and disjointed, although it’s still something of a bounce-back from last year’s nauseating You.
32. I.M
by Michael Ben David for Israel
Bookies rank: 35
Fans rank: 29
On paper, Michael Ben David’s entry is a surefire Eurovision smash. It’s an upbeat, relentlessly self-empowering pop anthem performed by a gloriously camp showman. Yet, as the song progresses, it loses its sheen. The chorus is too heavy and oppressive, and the hook feels awfully dated. Even a splashing of the Arabian strings that Israel are such reliable suppliers of doesn’t quite rescue this. I’ll stick to listening to Netta and the Golden Boy for now, thank you very much.
31. Hope
by STEFAN for Estonia
Bookies rank: 21
Fans rank: 16
Estonia’s entry is so indebted to the cliches of country and western music you can practically hear the whistles of The Good, The Bad and The Ugly slotting into corners of the verse. A pounding electronic kick drum and bland synths attempt to bring the song into the 21st century, but the result is an clumsy mess. It’s an undercooked, failed experiment, but at least it’s inoffensive.
30. Með hækkandi sól
by Systur for Iceland
Bookies rank: 26
Fans rank: 28
As if gloriously funky, should-have-been 2020 winner Daði Freyr’s departure from the contest wasn’t enough to mourn, Iceland have inexplicably chosen this sleepy folk-country number as their follow-up entry. It’s pleasant enough to listen to and the Icelandic language is as mellifluous as ever, but committing Með hækkandi sól’s chorus to memory requires some serious mental strain. If the trio choose to stick with the static staging they used to win Söngvakeppnin, I reckon their chances of qualification to the final are very slim indeed.
29. River
by Ochman for Poland
Bookies rank: 6
Fans rank: 7
Like probably all Eurovision songs called River that have come before it, this one opens as a boring piano ballad, and the expectation is that the three minutes to come will last very long. They do, but for an unexpected reason – an awful, synthetic mess of an instrumental clatters into the first chorus, before awkwardly exciting again. The heavy bass line, programmed drums and sickly strings are all a little too much, and although Ochman’s falsetto evokes a certain Duncan Laurence, the hook is nothing to write home about. The fact that this is quickly becoming one of this year’s favourites for fans and bookies alike baffles me.
28. Llámame
by WRS for Romania
Bookies rank: 38
Fans rank: 23
WRS may have his dance moves nailed for fun, uptempo dance song Llámame but the chorus is a little too cumbersome and his vocals too shaky for this to rank as one of the handful of strong entries from this year. The instrumental hook is pretty catchy, though. I’ll give them that.
27. Not the Same
by Shelden Riley for Australia
Bookies rank: 10
Fans rank: 15
Australia started so strongly at the competition when they joined in 2015. Guy Sebastian’s joyful Tonight Again perhaps deserved to win, whilst Dami Im’s Sound of Silence the following year was a worthy runner-up. Strained and dreary ballad Not the Same, however, seems more likely to suffer the fate of last year’s cluttered Technicolor, which failed at the semis. Riley’s belting vocals grow old quickly, as do his on-the-nose lyrics. The chorus is also so forgettable I reach the end of the song wondering whether there even was one. Maybe next year, Australia.
26. Sekret
by Ronela Hakati for Albania
Bookies rank: 27
Fans rank: 6
Burgeoning fan favourite Sekret seems to follow an emerging trend in Albanian entries as an overproduced, overwritten pop song that’s a bit too ambitious for its own good. Incorporation of ethnic instruments, however, is always welcome, and the key hook is delivered quite effectively once Hajati has finished shouting into the mic. Nonetheless, Sekret is a song with too many ideas to squeeze into three minutes, and none of those ideas are much good anyway.
25. Breathe
by Vladana for Montenegro
Bookies rank: 37
Fans rank: 25
Even after several listens to Breathe, it’s difficult to remember much about the song. The production is classy and Vladana’s vocal performance is excellent, but sadly the songwriting just isn’t quite there. Whether this will end a run of four non-qualifiers for Eurovision minnows Montenegro is anybody’s guess.
24. Circles
by Andrea for North Macedonia
Bookies rank: 40
Fans rank: 32
Andrea clearly has enough passion for her song to sell Circles, but dated production and dull verses certainly doesn’t help her case. With a particularly strong stage show she still has a chance of success at the contest, but Circles is more likely to serve as a tea break song during the long grand final broadcast.
23. Fade to Black
by Nadir Rustamli for Azerbaijan
Bookies rank: 18
Fans rank: 24
The often-successful Azeris are not ones to hold back on Eurovision, and 2022 is no exception with this orchestral ballad driven by Nadir Rustamli’s versatile vocals. Fade to Black suffers somewhat from a muddled, meandering first half, and the attempted payoff in the second half mostly just consists of a pounding kick drum and some ridiculously high vocals. Still, it’s by no means awful and a suitably cinematic stage show could see Fade to Black make inroads on the top 10, but at the moment I’m not quite buying it.
22. Boys Do Cry
by Marius Bear for Switzerland
Bookies rank: 14
Fans rank: 38
Finding a comeback from one of Switzerland’s best entries of all time (Gjon’s Tears’ phenomenal Tout l’univers) was always going to be a virtually impossible task. Boys Do Cry is nice enough with its attractive jazz influences and Bear’s warm vocals, but the song’s excruciating slowness and complete lack of groove (the second verse drum fill and bass entry we are waiting for never quite arrive) means it has a habit of flying by without me really noticing. By the time we’re at the third chorus I’m wondering what I’m having for tea, or what jobs I need to get done. Never does Bear try to reel us back in, seemingly happy to provide his brand of bland wallpaper pop. The juries may enjoy the sophisticated harmony and crystal clear production, but I don’t see any reason why any member of the public should be compelled to do anything other than drift off to sleep when Boys Do Cry comes on the telly.
21. That’s Rich
by Brooke for Ireland
Bookies rank: 36
Fans rank: 26
Despite not quite viewing the contest with the same cynicism as their British neighbours, once-dominant Ireland have suffered a similar decline in the 21st century at Eurovision; last year’s half-decent Maps was trashed in the semi-finals, albeit in large part to over-ambition when it came to Lesley Roy’s staging. There’s little to suggest that 2022’s entry will turn things back around for the Irish. That’s Rich is dance pop that might have slipped into the top 40 in the late 2000s, and amongst dozens of other entrants the chances of Brooke’s humdrum chorus and stale synth hook standing out against the crowd is very slim indeed. Brooke’s clearly enjoying herself but, if Lesley Roy’s experience taught us anything, conviction alone won’t win you televotes.
20. Trenuleţul
by Zdob şi Zdub & Fraţii Advahov for Moldova
Bookies rank: 25
Fans rank: 36
It’s a good old-fashioned folk stomper from Moldova this year, and I for one am a fan. Sure, the “hey ho” chorus is a little annoying and Advahov’s vocals are perhaps a little too zany, but the rapid fiddle playing is genuinely impressive and a plonking double bass keeps the party well and truly alive for every second of the track. This should have the Turin crowd dancing, and hopefully the exuberance of Zdob şi Zdub’s performance – a band returning after strong performances at the contest in 2005 and 2011 – is enough to land a good few televotes.
19. Guilty Pleasure
by Mia Dimšić for Croatia
Bookies rank: 30
Fans rank: 35
It’s a Taylor Swift country-pop song from Croatia this year, and it’s shaping up to be one of the contest’s more listenable (and also forgettable) three minutes. Questionable production doesn’t quite manage to glue the song’s components together, and there’s a sense that Dimsic’s chorus could quite easily be bigger and better, but it’s nonetheless a fairly catchy and inoffensive song.
18. In corpore sano
by Konstrakta for Serbia
Bookies rank: 15
Fans rank: 17
Eurovision fans are used to musical weirdness, but rarely have I heard a song as baffling as In corpore sano; it’s so strange it’s a genuine challenge to write anything conclusive about it. Konstrakta’s left-field alt-pop song has a lot – a pumping, shifting electro beat, heavily processed vocals and a ludicrous Megan Markle reference in the opening lyric. Konstrakta’s lyrics (no less perplexing when translated to English) at times suggest In corpore sano could be an eccentric joke song, except it is delivered with such conviction I’m left not quite knowing what to think. Konstrakta’s performance of the song – spent entirely sitting on a chair and washing her hands in water – does well to make everything somehow even more surreal. Some will see this as an insightful piece of performance art (the lyrics do touch on topics of misogyny and body image in the age of social media), whilst others will just see it as an over-indulgent mess. I’m not quite sure which camp I’m in at the moment. I may not have worked out my stance until the contest itself, or indeed long after.
17. The Show
by Reddi for Denmark
Bookies rank: 34
Fans rank: 37
The Show’s switch from piano ballad to pop punk bop is good fun, and Reddi’s chorus maintains the momentum, as does a sweet guitar solo. A key change – like most at this contest – is a little unnecessary, but may be enough to trigger a glut of televotes for this likeable little song.
16. Fulenn
by Alvan & Ahez for France
Bookies rank: 12
Fans rank: 9
Fulenn sees an impressive stylistic risk for France; gone is last year’s tasteful, almost-victorious piano ballad, and instead we have a heavy, noisy EDM track and the country’s second ever entry sung entirely in Breton. It’s actually quite a compelling listen, with plenty of auditory pyrotechnics by way of abrupt pauses and searing group vocals. The bass synth is so prominent and oppressive it tends to swallow up everything else going on in the chorus, but the enticing mix of traditional and modern instrumentation we’re used to hearing from eastern European entries is a welcome surprise from the French. I expect to see this one lap up televotes from across the continent.
15. Halo
by LUM!X ft. Pia Maria for Austria
Bookies rank: 23
Fans rank: 5
Massively successful hit maker LUM!X (somehow still only 19 years old) has delivered the goods with catchy EDM number Halo, even if overproduction strips Pia Maria’s vocals of much of its personality (and, for that matter, humanity). The bouncing synth bass line playfully nods to Eurobeat hits of years gone by, and Maria’s vocal hooks will surely have Eurofans in Turin jumping and singing along. There’s even a clap-along pre-chorus. If there’s such a thing as a formula for Eurovision success, Austria seems to be onto it.
14. Disko
by LPS for Slovenia
Bookies rank: 39
Fans rank: 33
Disko attempts the funk of Eat Your Salad and actually doesn’t ruin it with the lyrics (although the lyrics are entirely in Slovene, so Filip Vidušin could well be singing about euphemistic sausages for all I know). Despite somewhat lacking a chorus, Disko is neatly produced and performed, with the excess cheese usually associated with disco Eurovision songs traded for some actual musicality. It has to be said Vidušin is hardly an engaging frontman, and his harsh, perfunctory vocal style doesn’t quite suit his velvety funk backing, but Disko is nonetheless a very strong effort from a country unused to success at the contest. Some bookies have harshly put them at 1000/1 to win, but I’ve got my fingers crossed that this will be Slovenia’s year, even if that just means qualification to the final.
13. De Diepte
by S10 for the Netherlands
Bookies rank: 9
Fans rank: 4
Stien den Hollander has brought a rare slice of high-quality music for Eurovision 2022 with this competent folk-rock song. Car advert “oohs” and “aahs” join S10’s powerful vocal hook, and the production quality is a cut above the vast majority of other entries this year. It’s no masterpiece, but denying De Diepte a spot in the finals would be outrageous.
12. SNAP
by Rosa Linn for Armenia
Bookies rank: 19
Fans rank: 22
Armenia has thrown something of a curveball this year with this endearing Mumford & Sons-esque folk-pop track that sounds about as un-Armenian as it gets. The instrumental is a little bland in places, but both the songwriting and vocals are genuinely great, as is the memorable hook with its sweet group vocals. There are also some details to enjoy: the occasional chime of piano; the subtly rising synth string in the bridge; the big tubular bell when the third chorus reenters after a delay. I have my fingers crossed it will stand out from the pack in the grand final.
11. Ela
by Andromache for Cyprus
Bookies rank: 17
Fans rank: 10
Cyprus are bringing a nicely-crafted Mediterranean pop song to Turin, with Andromache’s delicately meandering vocals the track’s standout feature. The incorporation of ethnic intruments is convincing, even if the drum machine in the chorus gets a little heavy.
10. Miss You
by Jérémie Makiese for Belgium
Bookies rank: 13
Fans rank: 21
Jérémie Makiese comes to Eurovision 2022 armed with a convincing piano ballad turned pop-funk hit. His vocals, gritty and searing, are one of the song’s strongest aspects, and Makiese sounds comfortable in both wildly-different genres that he brings to the table. Such versatility deserves credit, and Miss You is surely a shoe-in for grand final qualification.
9. Space Man
by Sam Ryder for the United Kingdom
Bookies rank: 4
Fans rank: 13
In 2021, just when James Newman’s half-decent pop song was giving the Brits hope of a coveted top 15 result, we were hit where it hurts. In the end, Embers wasn’t just a case of same old mediocrity for the UK at Eurovision; it was soundly (and perhaps a little unfairly) panned by all of Europe. What’s more, it was our second last place finish on the bounce. Such an improbably awful result (a new scoring system had been presumed to make nul points virtually impossible) did have one silver lining: was this the wake up call the UK needed for them to start sending songs that could actually compete with Eurovision titans like Sweden and Italy? Now, with such a weak batch of songs to battle with in 2022, is this, at long last, a chance to return to the glory days of British dominance in the competition?
Having listened to SPACE MAN, I can confirm the answer is a tentative no, but it’s not all doom and gloom. The selection of Sam Ryder in particular may turn out to be a shrewd move; the viral TikTok star already has a solid batch heavily-streamed hits under his belt, not least SPACE MAN itself, which picked up an impressive 500,000 hits in the few litmus-test weeks between the song’s release and the big Eurovision reveal. The song itself also has plenty of strengths. Smart chord progressions and the space aesthetic (fertile material for a strong visual performance in Turin) brings to mind Space Oddity or Rocketman, although both comparisons are admittedly a little generous. The chorus is commendably bold and anthemic, and Ryder is more than capable of nailing every high note (and there are many).
The niggling worry for British Eurovision fans is just how safe it is. SPACE MAN’s attempt to appeal to mainstream pop audiences brings uncomfortable memories of a song that tried just that about 12 months ago. Year after year, experimentation has been generously rewarded at Eurovision, from Italy 2021’s glam rock to Israel 2018’s chicken impressions and Austria 2014’s bearded drag queen. SPACE MAN is good, but the risk of it being forgotten on the night – even amongst plenty of weaker songs – is very real. The UK are instead banking on Ryder’s online fame to pull in the televotes. I’m excited for SPACE MAN, but equally not convinced the UK delegation’s plan will pay off.
8. Lights Off
by We Are Domi for the Czech Republic
Bookies rank: 33
Fans rank: 14
There’s little remarkable about Avicii-esque Lights Off, but that’s not to say it isn’t a very competently written dance track. The hook is strong, the bass synth is punchy and the all-important build into the last chorus is expertly executed, even if the song’s overall aesthetic sounds about ten years out of date. It will be a dark horse in Turin for sure, and this dancefloor-filler is likely to be a hit with the juries too.
7. Stefania
by Kalush Orchestra for Ukraine
Bookies rank: 1
Fans rank: 11
Amidst one of the most cataclysmic international crises in Europe since the birth of Eurovision, heaps of political significance was bound to be placed on the artist burdened with the task of representing warstruck Ukraine this year. I started listening to Stefania praying for the song to be good; anything close to the political potency of Jamala’s albeit controversial 2016 winner 1944 would surely have a huge chance of winning. I envisaged a heartfelt, stirring ballad. The word orchestra sounded promising.
It’s easy to forget, however, that Ukraine’s national selection song contest Vidbir happened on 22 February, a time when, despite its proximity to the now infamous date of 24 February, many Ukrainians and other Europeans doubted Putin had the callousness to invade after months of speculation. The fact that the Kalush Orchestra were pictured with yellow armbands fighting for their country just days after winning a televised song contest is chilling.
It took the rapid rap verse at the beginning of the song to remind me that, even on the brink of invasion, Ukrainians weren’t completely in the mood for sentimentality. In the end, Stefania sounds unexpectedly business as usual when it comes to Ukrainian Eurovision entries: risky, intriguing and very nearly headache-inducing. Like last year’s SHUM (which went from being my least favourite to one of my most adored songs of the contest in a matter of weeks), Stefania offers a good helping of the traditional ‘white voice’ vocal style, an uncomfortably grating technique for the uninitiated Western ear, although it’s a little less prominent this time around. Then there’s the rapping, which may be an instant turn off for listeners expecting something sweet and easy, even if the verses are delivered with convincing flair. Even so, I’ll admit there were moments during my first listen when Stefania threatened to be a complete disaster.
Yet, in typical Ukrainian style, they somehow get away with reckless modern and traditional genre mashing. The vocal hook turns out to be brilliant and strangely moving, and the flute hook – whilst unmistakbly Eurovision – is good enough to be worthy of genuine appreciation, rather than the subtle ridicule ethnic instruments often receive at the contest. It’s not for everyone, but that’s precisely what makes Ukraine such exciting entrants, year after year. A people-pleasing piano ballad is just not how Ukraine approaches the contest. It’s not the song we asked for, but perhaps it’s even better. Originally written about frontman Oleg Syuk’s mother Stefania, in the weeks after the song’s release the mother of the lyrics has become a powerful symbol of the Ukrainian motherland. “The field blooms, but she is turning grey,” Syuk chants. Perhaps more than any song in Eurovision history, this song truly means something; already a viral hit in Ukraine, Stefania could help win a war. Winning a now-irrelevant song contest in the process is a near certainty.
6. SloMo
by Chanel for Spain
Bookies rank: 8
Fans rank: 2
Whilst Spain’s entries have been more miss than hit in recent years, I do feel like they’ve had a rough time of it (not least when 2019’s joyful showstopper La venda was handed a cruel 22nd place finish). SloMo isn’t as endearing as La venda, but the catchy pop track gives plenty of reasons to think the Spaniards properly mean business this year. The chorus’s one-note hook in theory should sound lazy, but over an electrifying bass line and a stuttering Latin drum groove it’s devastatingly cool. There’s little to distinguish Chanel from the many strutting female pop divas of Eurovision past, but it doesn’t matter too much; the song is already achieving vast numbers on streaming platforms. SloMo is a likeable, catchy and well-made track that Spanish Eurovisioners should be proud of.
5. saudade, saudade
by Maro for Portugal
Bookies rank: 11
Fans rank: 18
Ever since winning on their 49th attempt in remarkable fashion with a stunningly quiet jazz waltz (2017’s Amar pelos dois), Portugal seem to have been trying to relive their finest year with a series of gentle, elegant slow-burners. Enchanting saudade, saudade is probably their best attempt since 2017, daringly unique and fresh in its approach to electronica. A repeat collaborator with Jacob Collier no less, MARO’s almost-whispered vocals are beautiful, and her beauty only grows when she’s joined by four other similar female vocalists in the first chorus. The lilting chorus is both catchy and emotional, and ever-present clapping lends the song interesting earthiness. My only worry is that saudade, saudade might be a bit too good for Eurovision; audiences will need to calm themselves from the chaos of other entries and take a breather to properly enjoy this haunting properly enjoy this haunting little piece. That said, they’ve won it before like this.
4. Sentimentai
by Monika Liu for Lithuania
Bookies rank: 32
Fans rank: 20
An unusually nuanced Eurovision entry, particularly for the 2022 cohort, Monika Liu’s Sentimentai is an enticing alt-pop track that gently ticks its way towards an enchanting chorus of group vocals. The instrumental is rock solid, with a retro synth bass giving the track something of a Miss Independent edge. The bass work is also subtly brilliant underneath the rise and fall of Liu’s vocals, which are delivered with mysterious sensuality. There’s concerns song’s prospects in the competition as Sentimentai doesn’t quite sound like a Eurovision song, but what it does sound like is a very good left-field pop song. I’ll be rooting for her.
3. Brividi
by Mahmood & BLANCO for Italy
Bookies rank: 2
Fans rank: 3
Coming down from the high of a first win in 20 years, Italy have brought back the classy songs they’re known for with Brividi, along with fan favourite Mahmood who perhaps deserved to win in 2019 with his outstanding, edgy pop track Soldi. He’s pinning his hopes of going one better with this pretty, affecting ballad, and it’s a song good enough to make fans rightly excited he might actually defend Italy’s title, in spite of the infamous winner’s curse. The song builds patiently, and the synergy of Mahmood and teenager BLANCO in the chorus is stunning. It’s unfortunate that the producers felt the need to strangle men’s voices with needlessly heavy autotune, but Brividi nonetheless looks in good shape for another outstanding result for Italy in May.
2. Die Together
by Amanda Tenfjord for Greece
Bookies rank: 5
Fans rank: 8
Greece has really landed on something special with Amanda Tenfjord’s Die Together. It’s a riveting few minutes, with Tenfjord’s beautifully layered vocals offering the song quiet intensity and intimacy. The following two choruses are big hitters – widescreen pieces of pop artistry, with suitably polished production and an outstandingly controlled vocal performance from Tenfjord. A monumental drum fill in the last chorus seals the deal for Die Together as one Greece’s best entries to date. She seems to evoke the sudden, overwhelming fear of annihilation brought on for many as the world came to terms with the pandemic in 2020. “If we die together / I will hold you ‘til forever” she belts over a soaring final chorus, her sudden dependence on those closest to her piercing in its vulnerability. It’s a simple song with simple lyrics, and that’s precisely what allows Tenfjord’s message to cut so deeply. Having tried plenty of similarly grand pop songs in recent years, this is the first time Greece has truly nailed the genre. A top five finish is the least she deserves.
1. Hold Me Closer
by Cornelia Jakobs for Sweden
Bookies rank: 3
Fans rank: 1
Sweden have long established themselves as kings of the Eurovision world. They host the biggest, most spectacular national finals, they provide the slickest, catchiest pop songs to the contest year on year and, after inevitable victories, they often prove to be the continent’s best hosts of the contest, not least when they blew fans away in Stockholm in 2016. That’s all partly why last year’s dud in Voices was so hard to come to terms with, but I’m pleased to report that Hold Me Closer is another superb Swedish pop song. Cornelia Jakobs’ hit is rock solid from beginning to finish, her gravelly vocals a tasteful match for a beautiful chorus melody. The pace is exquisite, with luxurious strings meeting a synth bass in verse two and coalescing for a tremendous final two choruses. Hold Me Closer’s uplifting bridge would certainly suit the steady fall of confetti as Jakobs lifts up her shiny new trophy late in the evening of 14 May.
“I found the right one at the wrong time / Until the sunrise, hold tight,” Jakobs yearns in the chorus, and we all feel her pain with her. The lyrics could so easily slip towards melodrama, but it’s all delivered with such passion and authenticity it’s impossible to feel anything but empathy for Jakobs’ heartache. She appears to be holding back a flood of tears throughout, as will much of her audience when she performs to the world in Turin. In terms of Eurovision (and this is indeed a song worthy of transcending the context of the contest), this isn’t just a return to impeccable form for Sweden, this is their best song since Euphoria. The right one at the right time? You betcha.
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