Since U Been Four – Kelly Clarkson and my first favourite song

American Idol winner Kelly Clarkson is not a cool or fashionable artist to like, and her career undoubtedly peaked well over a decade ago. I have my mum to thank for why her music is still an addiction of mine.

Since U Been Gone may seem like an unlikely contender for my favourite song of all time. Sure, Kelly Clarkson’s breakout track was a critical and commercial success, but it’s never been a song that’s ventured into the realms of ‘Best of All Time’ lists, and only really considered a good song because of that nostalgia factor. The lyrics are about as shallow as you would expect from an singing contest winner – simply a celebration of the end of a tough relationship, and little else. The title isn’t even grammatically correct.

And yet, it’s a song that seems to have followed me my whole life. One of my very earliest musical memories was carefully prizing open one of my parents’ CDs, snapping it into the family Walkman CD player, finding my favourite songs and listening to them over and over again. Alongside The Noisettes’ Wild Young Hearts and McFly’s Room On The 3rd Floor, Clarkson’s smash sophomore release Breakaway was a key part of our fairly limited disc collection. Since then it feels like there’s barely been a year where I haven’t listened to it and adored it, although Scary Pockets’ truly brilliant reimagination of it with Vulfpeck regular Charles Jones back in 2017 certainly reignited my love. It’s difficult to tell what first fascinated four-year-old me; as shown by my Dad’s ear-bleeding video recording of one of my early Kelly singalongs (now, for better or worse, consigned to history on YouTube), I didn’t even understand the lyrics. Perhaps I was joined bound to fall in love with any music presented to me at such a young age. After all, Shayne Ward’s mind-numbingly bland That’s My Goal, which propelled him to an X Factor glory in 2004 before a slow, inevitable fade to obscurity, was also amongst my favourites.

It’s a song that lives and breathes self-confidence

But I like to think there’s something special in the sounds and rhythms of Since U Been Gone that connected with me. Clarkson’s voice was phenomenal for one thing. Her double-tracked belt pierces through the mix with zero restrain or hesitation. It sounds miles away from the much more technically ‘competent’ and controlled talk-show-hosting Clarkson of today, who recently released a spectacular cover of drivers license as a part of her show. I’ll always love her voice, but there’s something about the complete freedom and youthfulness of the vocals in those heady days of global superstardom that I’ll always find thrilling, even if the technique isn’t quite perfect by professional standards.

For me, that’s what Since U Been Gone is all about: freedom. It’s a song that lives and breathes determined liberation and self-confidence. “Since you’ve been gone I can breathe for the first time” is the killer line, delivered over a pounding pop rock backing that, just like Clarkson’s voice at the time, may not be sweet or beautiful, but is authentic. For Clarkson, Breakaway was quite literally that – a break away from her obligations and expectations to mould herself into a typical, hyper-sexualised female pop star after her Idol win. Instead, on her second album Clarkson diverted into the supposedly manly world of rock, boldly taking control of her musical trajectory by way of audacious drum fills and distorted guitar breakdowns. I of course didn’t know this as I sat on my living room floor back in 2004 with oversized earphones crammed in, but then again I didn’t need to. The great cacophony and euphoria of the music makes it all self-explanatory.

Breakaway shows how music can become not just a hobby, but a part of us

Looking back on Since U Been Gone 14 years later, I keep finding more things to love about the song: the subtle build of the verses, the densely layered vocals, the finely tuned production that makes that first chorus hit like a truck. Since U Been Gone is far from the only classic song on Breakaway either. The title track moves with a soothing Swiftian lilt while the epic piano ballad Because of You features a stunning key change to help Clarkson climb up into the golden upper reaches of her enormous range. Later on, Miss Independent recovers from a woefully dated verse to hit the listener with a catchy and convincing 90s-funk chorus. It’s great fun, even if the vocal ad-libbing gets a little over-zealous towards the end. It’s Behind These Hazel Eyes that I look back on most fondly, though. Criminally under-celebrated drummer Kenny Aronoff steals the show here, providing rocket fuel for an explosive, exquisite chorus from Clarkson. The drumming in that bridge in particular is nothing short of perfect, with awe-inspiring riffs and fills at every corner. It might be my favourite bridge of all time.

It sounds silly to say, but I see Kelly Clarkson’s second album as a great example of how music can become not just a hobby, but a part of us. The album forms part of my family’s musical DNA – passed down from my mother for me to enjoy and interpret in my own way. It’s music that’s lead me on my own exploration of the pop-rock genre (look no further than Beach Bunny) and beyond as I find my music taste mutating into something similar but not quite the same as what was handed down to me from older generations. If my children find the same joy in Cloud 9 or Cuffing Season that I found in Since U Been Gone, I’ll be happy to know that a chain of musical inheritance still survives.